So you meet this guy/gal and you’re kind of interested in getting to know him/her. They seem cool and fun. You go out a few times and the first few dates are awkward but you feel good about them. When you go out drinking with your friends, you find yourself wanting to see this new person. And then slowly but surely you just want to see them all the time — everyday.
This is exactly how smoking cigarettes started out for me. Casual, fun, weird, awkward. And then I was one of those smokers who only smoked when I was drinking. And then suddenly, I was smoking everyday. And then Bam! It was habit. It was that comfortable relationship that you know is bad for you but you just don’t know how to break things off.
As in any bad relationship, shit eventually hits the fan and there is a big glaring red sign in front of you telling you that it’s time to get the hell out. So you break it off and take calculated steps to distance yourself from this toxic person. The freedom is amazing and at the beginning you feel so strong and certain about your decision. Sure, it’s hard. And when you’re alone, you morn the loss of the comfort of the relationship. Everyday it gets easier though.
When I quit smoking I felt so energized and strong. It was challenging, but I was doing it! I was moving on and getting rid of this awful thing in my life. At the beginning I thought about smoking cigarettes all day. But over time I started to forget and cigarettes rarely crossed my mind.
The relationship has been over for a few months. You’ve moved on and can barely remember what it was like to be with that person. And then you run into him/her. Let’s get coffee and catch up! All of a sudden all the memories of the relationship come rushing back and you remember everything that you have a been missing. You start talking to them on the phone and hanging out every now and then. Then it becomes a regular thing. One night you kiss and suddenly you’re back in the relationship that you were so sure you wanted to leave a few months ago.
And this is what it was like when I smoked again. First it started off as just one that I bummed from a friend. And then I bummed another. And then I bought one “emergency” pack. I tried not to smoke … but the pack was just sitting there reminding me of what I was missing. So I smoked all of them just like I did when I was a smoker. And then suddenly I am a smoker again.
This relationship is bad for you. You knew it before when you broke up and you know it now even though you find yourself back in the middle of it. It’s unhealthy and it is preventing you from being the amazing person you are capable of being. You broke up once, you can do it again. Just make sure it sticks this time.
I’m sorry Mister Marlboro, this just isn’t working. We gave it another go round and even though you are an easy habit to slide back into, you just aren’t what I need in my life!